from relationship to relationshit.

So i’ve been asking myself about relationships for some time now – not only relationships that involve romantic affairs but also friendships. All the love, respect, trust, support, appreciation, need, comfort… How fast do feelings change? Can they really fade away? 

Meeting someone, getting to know him/her, getting closer, sharing more and more every day… these are the steps that happen on a rather regular basis in our daily lives. It is after this point that most relationships start taking a path towards relationshits. What happens when we care about someone more than we do about ourselves? What happens when one side tries harder, loves more, trusts more and, most importantly, needs and depends on more? How to balance? Is it a mistake loving someone more than they love us? Is it a weakness trusting and needing someone more than they trust and need us? What happens when, even though we think we have no expectations from the person in front of us, we realize we indeed have at least some expectations? What happens if we keep giving but we never receive back? When the heart is broken – what to do?

Does it take two to screw up a relationship? Or is one enough for a relationshit? Help me understand. How do you know when a relationship becomes a relationshit? And then – what do you? Till when do you try? Or do you just watch them fade away? Is it worth pushing when the other person is not? Is it worth caring when the other person does not? And if we stop believing – what happens to all the hours, minutes, seconds spent together? All the memories, words, images, sounds, hugs, tears, laughters? They just fade away? What is it that remains? Memories of all good times – or only of bad times?


3 thoughts on “from relationship to relationshit.

  1. My dear Bin,
    From friends to lovers, relationshits are unfortunately a great part of our lives. They are unavoidable and get to be a bigger problem if we can not or do not want to cut them off. We do not cut, hanging onto love and/or convention. We can not cut because of mutual friends.

    Like leeches on the skin we are forced into feeding the relationshit with all the good times we had in the past. Great love and care turns into pain and agony even after we are certain that the things we shared guarantee a lifetime of undisturbed devotedness. The association becomes extremely awkward. Things that are meant to be said are hidden behind transient peeps and elusive answers. We feel like we are stuck in a vortex with a possible exit but we take no action to take control. We greet when we want to look away. We answer the phone when we just want to hang up. We make plans together when we just want the relationshit out of our lives. We dive into deep thoughts and fantasize about revenge watching the person who once was our best mingle with distant acquaintances. We can not imagine how things turned out. We can never successfully name the reasons behind it. We were fools to believe and give in. Our trust broken. Our secrets revealed. We feel violated. We have been weak.

    It is a shame how we still haven’t come up with a definite solution for this byproduct of our emotionally dependent nature that has been such a headache for all of us. Is it fair to say that there is still hope?

  2. There is always foolish hope…however, sometimes you just have to stop trying to glue the broken vase pieces together – as it will never have the beauty of wholeness it once possessed, grab a broom, sweep, and go shopping for a new one. You might even shockingly realize that a beautifully sculpted bowl gives you more excitement and colors “everyday” in unimaginative ways. Just a thought….time’s a wastin.

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