on relationships

My very first favorite movies reflecting on relationships, morality, love, hate, doubt, trust, fidelity, fear, worry, care for another, friendship – in short, anything about life – were and still are by Woodie Allen. Whether you have seen some of his old pieces of heaven – like Manhattan, Annie Hall, Stardust Memories, Melinda & Melinda or Everyone Says I Love You – or some of his more contemporary ones – like Match Point, Vicky Cristina Barcelona or Whatever Works – you have an idea of what I am about to say next.

Some filmed in great black & white photography, some in vivid colors, with beauty and depth, accompanied by several jazz tunes, his films take a great look at complicated, wrecked and ruined relationships, words vs. actions, moral structure, humor, poignant romanticism, loss, choices, his famous “is-this-person-someone-I’d-want-to-get-involved-with?” conversations, self-criticism, unspoken thoughts, hidden desires, independence, dependence and in most cases, his love affair with New York. His pieces are one of the truest and most bittersweet romances.

Here is what he thinks about love and relationships – in his own words. Do you agree? Have your own scheme/plot already found you? Or are you one of those to believe that you haven’t got lucky yet?

“I have a pessimistic view of relationships. My view has always been that you talk about it with your friends, you scheme, you plot, and you see psychoanalysts. You see marriage counselors, get medicated, do everything they can, but in the end you have to luck out. It’s complete and total luck. You have all these exquisite needs, some woman has all her exquisite needs, and the odds of all those wires going together are very, very slim. If one of those wires is not there then it gets annoying and she gets dissatisfied, you get dissatisfied. So, to get it all clicking in is a very happy accident. It does happen to people, because there are so many people in the world, which statistically a certain amount of them luck out. They meet someone, fall in love, they are happy with that person, no real friction, but its luck. This is my observation of it, this can be argued, but if you ask me I would say that’s what I’ve learned. All the advice, planning, self help books, anything you do, dating services, you’ve got to get lucky. If you do it’s great. Some people do, but you can see by the divorce rate, the amount of relationships people go through, and the amount of people in unhappy relationships but stay together because of inertia, because of children, fear of loneliness… there are very few really wonderful ones. You have to get lucky.”


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